When a child saw his parents having sex, most parents will react by blaming him for not being allowed into the room or covering up in case the child sleeps in the same bed. But that is not the way to solve the problem.
So, how should parents handle when children catch you in the act of sex smartly and properly in accordance with the psychology of each age? Read more on our Trueremedies site!
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What To Do & How If Your Child Catches You in the Act of Sex
I. How Children Are Affected
How a kid is affected depends on their age and their knowledge about sex. A toddler or preschooler may not see anything unusual and accept what he saw without any questions.
A kid who has started school can wonder what was happening out of curiosity or may worry about what he saw and need to be comforted that his parents were not hurting one another.
At the age of 10, it is possible that your daughter has a good knowledge of what was going on, though she may still be embarrassed, surprised, and worried about it, especially when she got a negative response from you.
II. What To Do With Your Children From 3 To 12
1. 3 To 4 Years Old
At the age of 3 to 4, most of the children still sleep with their parents and it is easy to take the situation that is not to know whether to laugh or cry. Parents think their child is ignorant so they often act aggressively. The child may be awakened by noises or accidentally touched by parents but then quickly fall asleep.
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If your child accidentally sees what parents do and he is curious to ask questions, instead of being confused, parents should calmly explain to the child with any answers to help them quickly forget the action he just saw.
But remember that evasive explanation only works once because if you repeat those actions in front of your child, every explanation of the parents will gradually losing the effect on him; he will be skeptical and not believe everything his parents say.
2. 5 To 6 Years Old
Children at this age are aware of something and curious and like to imitate adults. If your child witnesses his parents having sex, he will be more curious and ask more questions than children at the age of 3 to 4 and he could imitate the action of his parents when they go out. So parents should let their children at this age sleep on a separate bed, or be very careful in the act to avoid affecting the psychology of children.
3. 10 To 12 Years Old
The awareness and memory of children at this age are better and the images that they see when their parents are making love will be imprinted on their minds. There are children who accidentally see their parents having sex, that image will follow them until they grow up. Even, they have an aversion to their parents when that memory comes.
III. Talking About Sex With Children
To avoid negative emotions happening to children, parents should frankly explain to their children about sex and try not to offer reproach and threats, which will help your child have better sexuality psychology when observing all issues scientifically and properly.
When children ask questions about sex, parents should not avoid it and answer that this is not a question for children because it will make children more curious and interested. So, the best way is to openly explain to your children when they ask questions.
Parents should master scientific knowledge about gender, physiology, medicine, sociology, and psychology because the more knowledge about these fields, the more useful explanation of parents will be, which helps children a lot in their lives.
The scientific studies in sexuality show that every child can understand gender from an early age if taught by parents. Children who are taught by their parents about gender will know how to create distance from people of the opposite sex.
IV. What Parents Should Say To Cover Up When Catch In The Act By Children
- I am just playing wrestling. Exercise is important for health, but it also makes me very tired, hot, and sweaty, so I have to take off my clothes.
- We are changing nightwear and unfortunately I fall on your mom. I am so clumsy!
- I discovered an ant under the blanket so your mom should be here to check it out. We are searching but do not find any ants.
- Your mom is tired, so I am massaging her body to help her feel less tired.
- Your mom has lost her earrings. She is asking me to look for them under the blanket. The earrings are small and hard to find, but I have found them; I'm so good!
- I am tickling your mom. Now, we are going to sleep too.
- “Well, I want to kiss your dad. Today your dad has so much work; I want to talk happily to him to help him feel more relaxed and less tired”.
- Do you want to play an interesting horse riding game with us?
When parents were caught in the act by children, sometimes the reaction of the parents is even more important than what children see. If the parents are angry or confused, they will immediately understand that there is something serious and scary in their parents' bed. Therefore, it is important for parents to calmly behave in these situations.
If you want to ask any questions about the article of children catch you in the act – what to do with your children from 3 to 12, please leave a comment in the comment box. For other informative articles, visit our Parenting cate!
Read more: 20 Tips How To Treat Seasonal Affective Disorder Naturally At Home. This article was medically reviewed/fact checked by Dr. Robi Ludwig.